2nd Round Standings.

Scriptor: 85-31

Musicus: 84-30

Praeceptor:81-23

Historicus: 80-24

Fortuitous: 75-26

Artifex: 57-15

IoannesNix: 52-16

Quaesitor: 52-12

Ferrarius: 42-12

Rising Like the Fhionnuisce!

 

Ireland's only victory against Italy came at the 1994 World Cup where the two met in the opening match of their group stage. Ireland came away 1-0 winners. A draw would have seen Ireland finish in third place, but not in a good enough position to advance. Robbie Brady's 85th minute goal changed all that. The only third place team better than Ireland is Slovakia. It was quite a comeback to see the Celtic boys advance. There is another game left for them to play.

Ukr 0:1 Pol

NIR 0:1 Ger

Cze 0:2 Tur

Cro 2:1 Esp

ISL 2:1 Aut

Hun 3:3 Por

Ita 0:1 Ire

Swe 0:1 Bel

Scriptor: Ukr 1:1 Pol          63-26

               NIr 0:3 Ger

               Cze 0:1 Tur

               Cro 1:2 Esp

               ISL 1:1 Aut

              Hun 0:2 Por

              Ita 2:1 Ire

              Swe 1:2 Bel

Musicus: Ukr 1:3 Pol           62-22

                NIR 0:5 Ger

                Cze 3:1 Tur

                Cro 1:2 Esp

                ISL 1:1 Aus

                Hun 0:2 Por

                Ita 3:0 Ire

               Swe 1:2 Bel 

Fortuitous: Ukr 1:0 Pol          58-21

                   NIR 0:2 Ger

                   Cze 3:1 Tur

                   Cro 2:2 Esp

                   Isl 3:4 Aut

                   Hun 1:0 Por

                   Ita 0:1 Ire

                  Swe 0:2 Bel

Praeceptor: Ukr 2:2 Pol          58-20

                   NIR 0:2 Ger

                   Cze 1:1 Tur

                   Cro 2:2 Esp

                   ISL 1:1 Aut

                   Hun 0:1 Por

                   Ita 1:1 Ire

                   Swe 2:2 Bel

Historicus: Ukr 1:2 Pol          54-17

                   NIR 0:1 Ger

                   Cze 1:0 Tur

                   Cro 0:2 Esp

                   Isl 0:2 Aut

                   Hun 1:3 Por

                   Ita 1:1 Ire

                   Swe 0:2 Bel

IoannesNix: Ukr 1:2 Pol         39-12

                    NIR 2:2 Ger

                    Cze 2:3 Tur

                    Cro 2:3 Esp

                    Isl 2:1 Aut

                    Hun 1:3 Por

                    Ita 3:2 Ire

                    Swe 2:2 Bel 

Artifex: Ukr 2:3 Pol          38-14

             NIR 0:4 Ger

             Cze 1:1 Tur

             Cro 0:3 Esp

             Isl 1:3 Aut

             Hun 1:3 Por

             Ita 2:2 Ire

             Swe 3:2 Bel

Quaesitor: Ukr 1:2 Pol         38-9

                  NIr 1:3 Ger

                  Cze 2:1 Tur

                  Cro 0:4 Esp

                  Isl 1:3 Aut

                  Hun 4:1 Por

                  Ita 1:2 Ire

                  Swe 1:2 Bel

Ferrarius: Ukr 3:2 Pol         32-8

                NIr 1:2 Ger 

                 Cze 3:2 Tur

                 Cro 1:2 Esp

                 Isl 2:3 Aut

                 Hun 2:3 Por

                 Ita 2:2 Ire

                 Swe 2:2 Bel

Iceland's victory gave 3 points to Fortuitious. Draws by Hungary and Portugal gave Artifex and Ferrarius one point each.

Groups B and F were won by Fortuitous who gained 2 more points. Musicus gained two more points by winning groups C and E. Group D was won by Scriptor. Praeceptor equaled Fortuitous's points for group F and also won a point.

The first round is now over. IoannesNix, Musicus, Quaesitor, and Scriptor are no longer paired with teams in the tournament. For Fairness, these players will be drawn new teams. 

 

Ketchup!

Bel 3:0 Ire
Ice 1:1 Hun
Por 0:0 Aus
Sui 0:0 Fra
Rom 0:1 Alb

                     Bel 2:0 Ire  

                     Ice 1:0 Hun

Scriptor:       Por 0:1 Aus          51-22

                     Sui 1:1 Fra

                     Rom 1:0 Alb

                     Bel 2:1 Ire

                     Ice 2:1 Hun

Musicus:      Por 2:2 Aus        50-18

                    Sui 1:1 Fra

                    Rom 0:1 Alb

                    Bel 1:0 Ire

                    Ice 1:1 Hun

Praeceptor: Por 2:2 Aus          46-16

                    Sui 1:1 Fra 

                    Rom 1:0 Alb

                    Bel 1:1 Ire

                    Ice 0:0 Hun 

Fortuitous:  Por 1:0 Aus         41-15

                   Sui 3:2 Fra

                   Rom 3:2 Alb

                   Bel 2:0 Ire

                   Ice 1:1 Hun

Historicus: Por 2:2 Aus          40-12

                  Sui 1:1 Fra

                  Rom 1:0 Alb
                  Bel 3:1 Ire
                  Ice 3:2 Hun
Artifex:     Por 2:2 Aus          32-12
                  Sui 1:2 Fra
                  Rom 3:2 Alb

                  Bel 1:3 Ire
                  Ice 1:2 Hun
Quaesitor: Por 2:0 Aus         30-9
                  Sui 1:3 Fra
                  Rom 2:2 Alb
                  Bel 1:3 Ire
                  Ice 2:1 Hun
IoannesNix: Por 2:2 Aus        29-8

                  Sui 3:2 Fra
                  Rom 3:2 Alb
                  Bel 2:2 Ire
                  Ice 3:3 Hun
Ferrarius:  Por 2:3 Aus         25-5
                 Sui 2:4 Fra
                 Rom 2:2 Alb

Fortuitous and Ferrarius each drew a point as Iceland and Hungary tied 1-1. The scoreless draw between Portugal and Austria awarded Artifex and Musicus a point each. Albania's victory over Romania gave 3 points to Quaesitor. With a total of 17 points won in Group A, Musicus has gained another bonus point.

Czeching for Goals.

 

Italy opened up the day with a match against Sweden. This game would be tight until Eder, just Eder, would score in the 88th minute giving Italy a second win in this tournament and putting them through to the Round of 16.

The middle match saw Slavic brothers collide as the Czech Republic battled Croatia. It would be a match of two halves. The first saw a goal from Ivan Perisic in the 37th minute give Croatia. The second half would see the game open up as Ivan Rakitic would strike in the 59th minute to put Croatia up 2-0. A 76th minute strike by Milan Skoda would pull Czech Republic within one. Tomas Neci would convert a penalty in the 89th minute to tie the game.

The evening match saw Spain battle Turkey. La Furia Roja would unload the goals. Alvaro Morata would score in the 34th minute. Nolito, just Nolito, would score 3 minutes later. Morata would put in a second to put Spain up 3-0 for the win in the 48th minute.

Ita 1:0 Swe

Cze 2:2 Cro

Spa 3:0 Tur

                      Ita 2:1 Swe

Scriptor:        Cze 2:2 Cro       44-19

                      Spa 2:0 Tur

                      Ita 1:0 Swe

Musicus:       Cze 1:2 Cro       39-15

                      Spa 2:1 Tur

                      Ita 0:0 Swe

Fortuitious:   Cze 4:2 Cro       37-14

                      Spa 0:3 Tur

                      Ita 2:2 Swe

Praeceptor:    Cze 0:2 Cro       35-13

                      Spa 1:1 Tur

                      Ita 1:2 Swe

Historicus:    Cze 1:1 Cro       29-9

                      Spa 2:0 Tur

                      Ita 2:1 Swe

IoannesNix:  Cze 1:1 Cro       28-7

                      Spa 2:1 Tur

                      Ita 2:4 Swe

Artifex:         Cze 1:2 Cro       26-11

                      Spa 3:2 Tur

                      Ita 2:3 Swe

Quaesitor:     Cze 2:3 Cro       25-7

                      Spa 2:1 Tur

                      Ita 3:2 Swe

Ferrarius:      Cze 1:0 Cro        22-5

                      Spa 2:1 Tur

Sweden's loss prevents IoannesNix from picking up any extra points. Other than that, it's been a long day. We do it again tomorrow.

Fabulanski!!!!!

 

England bounced back from their 1-1 draw with Russia by throwing a Vardy Party. Gareth Bale gave Wales the lead with another fantastic freekick from distance in the 42nd minute. Jamie Vardy would start the comeback with a great reflexive strike in the 56th minute (Chat Shit Get Banged). Daniel Sturridge would then strike at the 90th minute to give England the win.

Northern Ireland's strategy of playing defensive soccer against Poland didn't work out. In their second match they came out swinging as a 49th minute strike by Gareth McAuley would give the Northern Irish a lead over Ukraine. Niall McGinn's 90th minute +6 minute strike would seal the deal. 

Ukraine's Euro fate would balance on the battle of Saint-Denis. Poland have never managed to score a goal against Germany in a tournament, but today they would bring the fight. Though Germany gave it their all, saves like this

 

by Lukasz Fabianski would allow Poland to walk away with a point and the draw. That result booted Ukraine from the tournament, but they have one more match to play.

Eng 2:1 Wal

Ukr 0:2 NIr

Ger 0:0 Pol

                        Eng 2:0 Wal

Scriptor:          Ukr 1:1 NIr        35-16

                        Ger 3:1 Pol

                        Eng 1:3 Wal 

Fortuitous:      Ukr 1:1 NIr        35-12

                        Ger 3:0 Pol

                        Eng 0:1 Wal

Praeceptor:      Ukr 2:0 NIr        34-12

                        Ger 1:1 Pol

                        Eng 1:1 Wal

Musicus:         Ukr 2:0 NIr         32-12

                        Ger 1:1 Pol

                        Eng 3:1 Wal

Historicus:      Ukr 1:1 NIr         23-7

                        Ger 2:1 Pol

                        Eng 2:2 Wal

Artifex:           Ukr 3:0 NIr         22-9

                        Ger 4:3 Pol

                        Eng 3:2 Wal

IoannesNix:     Ukr 1:3 NIR      22-7

                         Ger 3:2 Pol

                         Eng 1:1 Wal

Quaesitor:        Ukr 4:1 Nir        22-6

                        Ger 2:2 Pol

                        Eng 1:3 Wal

Ferrarius:        Ukr 1:1 NIr        17-4

                        Ger 3:2 Pol

A failure to secure three points with a win against Poland earned Germany one point. Praeceptor also received a point. Wales loss means that Historicus will not see any extra points tonight. Good night to all.

The Longest Minute Ever Played.

 

Yesterday's middle match saw Romania and Switzerland kick off. Romania would take a shocking 1-0 lead when Bogdan Stancu converted his second penalty of the tournament in the 18th minute. It would be Albanian-Swiss striker Admir Mehmedi who would tie the game in the 57th minute. The game would end a draw.

The nightcap saw hosts France battle against Albania. For 89 minutes neither team could break the deadlock. Then the longest minute at Euro 2016 happened. It started with a 90th minute strike by Antoine Greizmann. It would be followed up by a 90th minute strike 6 minutes later by Dimitri Payet. And just like that, France would win 2-0.

Rom 1:1 Sui

Fra 2:0 Alb

Fortuitous: Rom 1:1 Swi     33-10

                   Fra 4:2 Alb

Scriptor:     Rom 1:1 Swi    32-15

                   Fra 1:1 Alb

Praeceptor: Rom 0:0 Swi    30-11

                   Fra 1:0 Alb

Musicus:    Rom 1:1 Swi     29-11

                   Fra 1:0 Alb

Artifex:      Rom 3:1 Swi      21-8

                   Fra 5:0 Alb

Historicus: Rom 1:2 Swi      20-6

                   Fra 2:0 Alb

Quaesitor:  Rom 2:1 Swi      19-5

                   Fra 3:2 Alb

IoannesNix: Rom 1:4 Swi    18-7

                    Fra 2:2 Alb

Ferrarius:    Rom 2:2 Swi     17-4

                   Fra 2:1 Alb

Albania's loss means that they cannot qualify directly in one of the top two spots. They can possibly clinch a 3rd place spot and still see the second round. They have failed to gain Quaesitor any points thusfar, but are guaranteed one more shot to do so.

Nani, are You OK? Are You OK Nani?

 

Yesterday's matches began with an on the rise Swiss team facing a rebuilding Hungarian team. Most pundits had Switzerland the favorites, but Adam (what a great first name) Szalai would put Hungary ahead in the 62nd minute. Aleksandar Dragovic would pick up a second yellow card leading to his ejection in the 66th minute. The man advantage would allow Zoltan Steiber to double Hungary's score in the 87th minute. 

The second match saw Portugal look to squash Euro debutantes Iceland. It looked good to go that way when Nani would score in the 31st minute giving Portugal the lead they would take into halftime. But in the second half, Portugal would be struck by a smooth criminal when Birkir Bjarnason would tie the match in the 50th minute. The game would end even.

Today's first match saw Russia battle it out with a possible ejection from the tournament looming against Slovakia. The scoring would begin when Vladimir Weiss struck goal for Slovakia in the 32nd minute. The Slovaks would go up 2-0 into the half on a last minute strike by Marek Hamsik. Russia would battle back and make the last ten minutes interesting when Denis Glushakov scored in the 80th minute. Slovakia were strong enough to silence Russia from there on out, and the game ended 2-1 to the independent boys.

Aus 0:2 Hun

Por 1:1 Ice

Rus 1:2 Slo

                    Aus 2:0 Hun

Scritpor:      Por 1:1 Ice      28-13

                    Rus 1:1 Slo

                    Aus 0:3 Hun   

Fortuitous:   Por 3:2 Ice       27-8

                    Rus 1:2 Slo

                    Aus 1:2 Hun

Praeceptor:  Por 1:2 Ice       25-10

                    Rus 2:1 Slo

                    Aus 2:1 Hun

Musicus:      Por 3:0 Ice       22-8

                    Rus 0:0 Slo

                    Aus 4:2 Hun

Artifex:       Por 5:2 Ice        17-6

                    Rus 3:0 Slo

                    Aus 1:1 Hun

IoannesNix: Por 3:1 Ice       16-5

                    Rus 2:1 Slo

                    Aus 1:2 Hun

Quaesitor:   Por 3:2 Ice        16-4

                    Rus 3:1 Slo

                    Aus 3:0 Hun

Historicus:  Por 4:0 Ice        15-3

                    Rus 2:2 Slo

                   Aus 4:2 Hun

Ferrarius:    Por 3:2 Ice        12-3

                   Rus 2:1 Slo 

The Austria-Hungary match saw Ferrarius and Musicus go head to head. The victory for Hungary gave 3 points to Ferrarius, while Austria let Musicus down, so he gets none. The Portugal and Iceland matchup also saw Artifex and Fortuitous go head to head. The draw sees each player gain a point. As for Scriptor, Russia's loss leaves him without any extra points. But he's in the lead and doesn't need them. Onward to the remaining matches!

Ciaran! Ciaran the Ball Into My Own Goal!

 

Spain would open the defense of their 2 in a row European Championship by playing a virtual draw against the Czech Republic. I say virtual because the game was tied for  the first 96.67% of the time. But it would end 1-0 to La Furia Roja when Gerard Pique (Mr. Shakira) scored in the 87th minute. Remember kids to always work on your headers.

Ireland would follow up by scoring 2 goals and walking out with a 1-1 draw. No, that's not a typo. Wesley Hoolahan would put Ireland up 1-0 in the 48th minute. Keeping Zlatan Ibrahimovic scoreless was all for the good, but then Ciaran Clark would score against his own side leaving the game level to the final whistle.  

The nightcap saw a hyped up Belgian side face last tournament's runners-up in Italy. Italy is a country of fashion, and they don't like to get caught wearing the same outfits as their group-mates. Therefore, Emanuele Giaccherini's 32nd minute goal would not do. Scoring 1 goal is for the less Romantically named players of countries not named Italy. So a last minute adjustment by Graziano Pelle would double up the score leaving Italy top of the group.

Esp 1-0 Cze

Ire 1:1 Swe

Bel 0:2 Ita

                     Esp 2:0 Cze 

Scriptor:       Ire 1:1 Swe       24-11     YC

                     Bel 2:1 Ita

                     Esp 0:0 Cze

Musicus:       Ire 1:1 Swe      22-8       YC

                      Bel 0:0 Ita

                      Esp 1-0 Cze

Praeceptor:    Ire 1:1 Swe      21-8

                      Bel 2:1 Ita 

                      Esp 3:2 Cze

Artifex:          Ire 1:4 Swe       15-5

                       Bel 3:0 Ita

                       Esp 3:1 Cze 

IoannesNix:   Ire 3:2 Swe       15-4    YC

                       Bel 2:3 Ita

                       Esp 3:0 Cze

Fortuitious:    Ire 0:0 Swe      15-3

                       Bel 2:0 Ita

                       Esp 3:0 Cze

Historicus:     Ire 1:0 Swe      14-2

                       Bel 2:0 Ita

                       Esp 3:2 Cze

Quaesitor:      Ire 2:1 Swe      13-3     YC

                      Bel 3:1 Ita

                      Esp 2:3 Cze

Ferrarious:     Ire 3:2 Swe      8-2

                      Bel 2:2 Ita

Paired with Sweden, IoannesNix received an extra point for their 1-1 draw with Ireland.

In Form Malik-y Boom Boom Down!

 

Luka Modric scored in the 41st minute for Croatia to give them the victory over Turkey. Arkadiusz Milik would score in the 51st minute of the second match to give Poland a victory over Northern Ireland. Germany would strike twice. First Shkodran Mustafi would give them the lead in the 19th minute. Just to make sure everyone knew that Germany was the best team in the group, Bastian Schweinsteiger doubled the score in the closing moments.

Tur 0:1 Cro

Pol 1:0 NIR

Ger 2:0 Ukr

                     Tur 1:1 Cro

Scriptor:       Pol 3:1 NIR     17-8     YC

                     Ger 1:0 Ukr

                     Tur 1:2 Cro

Musicus:      Pol 3:1 NIR     17-5     YC

                     Ger 2:0 Ukr

                     Tur 1:2 Cro
Praeceptor:   Pol 2:0 NIR    13-4
                     Ger 1:1 Ukr
                     Tur 3:2 Cro
Artifex:         Pol 3:1 NIR    12-4
                     Ger 2:0 Ukr
                     Tur 2:1 Cro
IoannesNix:  Pol 2:3 NIR    10-4     YC
                     Ger 2:1 Ukr
                     Tur 3:1 Cro
Fortuitous:    Pol 0:1 NIR    10-2
                     Ger 3:2 Ukr
                     Tur 1:2 Cro
Quaesitor:    Pol 3:0 NIR     10-2    YC
                     Ger 3:2 Ukr
                     Tur 2:2 Cro
Historicus:    Pol 2:2 NIR    10-1
                     Ger 1:0 Ukr
                     Tur 3:3 Cro
Ferrarius:      Pol 2:3 NIR     7-1
                     Ger 2:1 Ukr

Even though she picked Germany to settle for a 1:1 draw, the Die Mannschaft won their match earning 3 points. As a result, Praeceptor has also earned 3 points. Goodnight my little Crias.

Don't be in such a Glushakov to celebrate!

  

Not to be outdone by the brilliance of a Gareth Bale freekick in their local rivals Wale's victory earlier, Eric Dier took his best freekick attempt and beat Igor Akinfeev in the 73rd minute. Soccer is a game of 90 minutes, and some extra time thrown in the end. Russia took advantage of this by scoring an equalizer in the 90th minute (plus some extra time). The game ended 1-1, and left Wales top of group B.

Eng 1:1 Rus

Scriptor: Eng 2:1 Rus     11-6     YC

Musicus: Eng 0:0 Rus     9-3     YC

Fortuitous: Eng 0:0 Rus  7-1

Historicus: Eng 3:2 Rus   7-0

Artifex: Eng 3:2 Rus      6-2

IoannesNix: Eng 4:2 Rus  6-2    YC

Praeceptor: Eng 2:3 Rus   5-3

Ferrarius: Eng 2:0 Rus     4-0

Quaesitor: Eng 2:3 Rus    3-1     YC

Scriptor gained an extra point because he is paired with Russia, who drew with England also gaining a point.

Party on Wales! Party on Gareth!

9 minutes into this matchup, and Wale's main threat Gareth Bale would have his country up 1-0 on their Euro debut. Adam Duda would put the game even in the 60th minute scoring for Slovakia. Hal Robson-Kanu would decide the game with his 81st minute goal for Wales. It was a late winner, but a winner nonetheless.

Wal 2:1 Slo

Scriptor: Wal 1:1 Slo     9-5     YC

Musicus: Wal 1:1 Slo    7-3     YC

Historicus: Wal 1:2 Slo  7-0

Artifex: Wal 2:3 Slo       6-2

IoannesNix: Wal 3:1 Slo  6-2    YC

Praeceptor: Wal 0:1 Slo   5-3

Fortuitous: Wal 3:1 Slo    5-1

Ferrarious: Wal 3:2 Slo    4-0

Quaesiotr: Wal 1:2 Slo     3-1    YC

Please note, that Historicus received 0 points for his prediction. He his paired with Wales who won 3 points on the day, and so he has gained 3 points to his total. One match left today. Good Luck!

Hey man, nice Schar! What a good Schar man!

  

Albania made a valiant debut at the European Championships losing 0-1 to Switzerland. Fabian Schar became the quickest goal scorer at a European Championship with a header in the 5th minute. Even after going down to 10 men when Albania's captain earned a second yellow card in the 37th minute, Lorik Cana's dismissal did little to stimulate Switzerland to scoring a second goal. At times Albania looked good to equalize. In the end, Switzerland were good enough to grab the 3 points.

Alb 0: 1 Sui

Scriptor: Alb 0:1 Sui     8-4     YC

Musicus: Alb 0:1 Sui     6-2    YC

Artifex: Alb 0:4 Sui       5-1

Praeceptor: Alb 0:1 Sui  4-2

Historicus: Alb 1:2 Sui   4-0

IoannesNix: Alb 1:2 Sui  3-1   YC

Quaesitor: Alb 3:2 Sui     3-1   YC

Ferrarius: Alb 2:2 Sui      2-0

Fortuitious: Alb 3:0 Sui  2-0

Yellow cards have been awarded to the above contestants for not having their picks and entry fees in by the June 4th deadline. Quaesitor was also the first competitor to see his matched team try and gain him extra points. With the loss, Albania failed him. They'll have two more chances to boost his score in the weeks to come. With two more games left today, it'll be a busy day as the standings will change a lot. 

Sacre Bleu! That Better Be Your Knee!

 

An edgy opening match for the home side saw them go into halftime with a 0-0 draw. The pressure of a result would be mounting, just like this picture of a Romanian on top of a Frenchman playing soccer in all the wrong ways. Olivier Giroud would step up and open the scoring in the 58th minute putting Les Bleu up 1-0. Then the match would get grabby, and Patrice Evra would pull Nicolae Stanciu down in the box. Bogdan Stancu would beat the dive of Hugo Lloris and tie the game at 1-1. Dimitri Payet would bring France its collective feet striking the winning goal in the 89th minute. 2-1 to the Hosts France. But who is ahead in our standings?

FRA 2:1 ROM 

Scriptor: FRA 2:1 ROM        4-2     YC

Artifex: FRA 3:1 ROM          3-1

Quaesitor: FRA 4:1 ROM      3-1     YC

Ferrarius: FRA 1:0 ROM        2-0

Fortuitious: FRA 4:3 ROM    2-0

Historicus: FRA 3:2 ROM      2-0

Musicus: FRA 3:0 ROM         2-0     YC

IoannesNix: FRA 2:3 ROM    1-1

Praeceptor: FRA 0:0 ROM     0-0

Scriptor

Forsit est ut a vobis

PUSH PLAY

Hailing from the corner of Webster and Ledge, we present the number 1 ranking player according to the Zla Dupki standings. After finishing 2^nd at the 2014 TSzAL World Cup, Scriptor went on to win the 2015 TSzAL Asian Championship held in his very honor. With 106 points (1^st overall) and 20 by way of the bonus (3^rd overall) Scriptor looks to win a second straight tournament. Essentially, it is everyone's task to dethrone him at the top. He is the Evil Empire. So it is no wonder that for this tournament, comparatively speaking, Scriptor is Russia. The former Soviet Union have had ten trips to the World Cup, finishing as high as 4^th back in 1966. They are also making their tenth European Championship appearance having won the first European Cup in 1960, coincidentally also hosted in France. In the modern era they finished 3^rd at the 2008 Euro Cup. Can this once powerful soccering nation return to antiquated form? Probably not, but this year's crew may be more despised for actually being Russian in the West than for their athletic ability. The 2015 edition of Russia squeaked into France by edging out Sweden by 2 points. They were an atrocious 8 points behind Austria. But how you get to the big dance isn't as important as how you perform at it. Scriptor is in it to win it. If you don't like that fact, then that is a "you" problem. Welcome to the Tournament!

Praeceptor

Non tangare

PUSH PLAY

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... THE REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!!!! Praaaaaaaaaaaaae-ceptor! Bringing big game experience from Bean Town, Praeceptor won the inaugural TSzAL World Cup of 2014. With 101 overall points (2^nd overall) and 32 by way of the bonus (1^st overall) you may be asking, "Grand Salmon Alpaca, why does she only rank second in the Zla Dupki standings?" Well, children, gather round. What does one do when they win the World Cup? Apparantly, they arrive late to the Asian Cup and think they can just phone it in. Well, the truth is you can't! An abysmal 4^th place showing cost Praeceptor the number 1 ranking. For the purposes of our tournament, comparatively speaking, Praeceptor is Spain. La Furia Roja have been to big tournaments plenty of times. They even have the greatest run of big tournament finishes in history. It all began with a European Championship in 2008, which they trumped by winning the World Cup in 2010, and to cap it all off they won a second straight European Cup in 2012. That fantastic run ended in the 2014 World Cup when losing 1-5 to Netherlands and following it up with a 0-2 loss to Chile, Spain left for home with a consolation victory over Australia. Like Praeceptor, these former champs are chomping at the bit to get back into the title hunt. They proved that by winning their qualifying group with 9 wins and just 1 loss. Could they become the first ever threepeat champions of Europe? Praeceptor certainly hopes so. Welcome to the Tournament!

Artifex

Exspectare, quid?

PUSH PLAY

Studying her dark arts at the Smartford's School of Magic, Artifex has found herself on the cusp of some eerie prediction performances. She is one of the original five members to play from the time before records were kept. At the 2014 TSzAL World Cup, she finished 4th overall, but won the first ever Golden Oracle for hitting an astonishing 15 bonus points. She finished the 2015 TSzAL Asian Championship in second place, missing out on a second Golden Oracle by 4 bonus points with a total of 16. She ranks 3rd in the Zla Dupki standings with 98 points (3rd overall) and 31 by way of the bonus (2nd overall). Comparatively speaking, Artifex is our version of Portugal for this tournament. 

Like Portugal's greatest export, Cristiano Ronaldo, she's tall and also found it difficult to win a big international tournament. Ronaldo is arguably one of the best club players to ever play, but seems to disappear on the big stage with his countrymen. He holds the career benchmark for goals scored in Spain's La Liga, though has reached only one final with Portugal. They hosted the 2004 Euros and reached the championship match where they were upset by Greece. They reached France by dominating their group winning 7 games and losing only 1. She will be riding the gorgeous Portuguese Ronaldo with Portugal to try and find her glory. Hopefully her boyfriend won't be too jealous. Welcome to the Tournament!

IoannesNix

 

Ego odi omnibus et braca

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Hailing from the land of the Paugasuck Indians, where the 1812 Oak can be found, our next competitor ranks 4th in the Zla Dupki standings. She finished 5th at the 2014 TSzAL World Cup and improved with a 3rd place finish at the 2015 TSzAL Asian Championship. She holds a career total of 88 points with 17 by the way of the bonus. Comparatively speaking for our tournament, IoannesNix is Sweden. The Blue-Yellows have made some deep runs in tournaments long ago finishing fourth or higher in four World Cups, and reaching the semifinals of the 1992 European Championship which they hosted. They squeaked into this edition of the Euros by edging out Denmark 4-3 in a playoff on the heels of three goals by their greatest player in history, Zlatan Ibrahimovic. This half Ukrainian-half Swedish giant shall be leading his country and IoannesNix on his shoulders in an attempt to give her an edge and a title. She may be down to a knee and 3/4, but that doesn't mean you should count her out. Welcome to the Tournament!

Musicus

 

Vade Hyacintho!

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Hailing from the shores of SaMo, Musicus is a student of the French and English games. He entered the 2014 TSzALWorld Cup where he earned the dastardly honor of being the first competitor to earn a red card. Though his unsportsmanlike conduct cannot be forgotten, we can neither forget his final push to a 3^rd place finish. With 64 career points and 10 by way of bonus, Musicus sits 5^th in the Zla Dupki standings. He sat out the 2015 TSzAL Asian Cup, but reemerges for the 2016 TSzAL European Championship with his eyes on a French prize. For the purposes of our tournament, comparatively speaking, Musicus is Austria. Das Team finished 3^rd at the 1954 World Cup. That's good and well, but that's about as high as they've peaked. History is for the books, and in the modern era Austria hasn't done anything to sing about. They enter they're second Euro Cup, after having cohosted in 2008, by winning their qualifying group. Nine victories and one draw saw them never see defeat. Musicus is sure to see some matches where he just can't score a point. Any success Das Team sees will help guide Musicus to a title. But players beware, he has been known to try a trick or two. <Insert Sick Laughter>. Welcome to the Tournament!

Quaesitor

Saecula saeculorum semper amoris mei dilectissimi

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Hailing from the Bell City, this Scholar is the man without a plan. His first championship was in winning his girlfriend's heart, but that's about as significant as winning the Balkan Cup when we're discussing the second biggest tournament TSzAL holds. Debuting in the 2015 TSzAL Asian Cup, the 6^th ranking member of the Zla Dupki standings finished dead last at that tournament. He holds a career mark of 26 points with 6 by the way of the bonus. For our tournament comparatively speaking, Quaesitor is Albania. The Red and Blacks have never qualified for a major tournament before, but are raring to go after finishing second in their qualifying group. Their nation's symbol of the double headed black eagle represents their autonomy in the Balkans. Quaesitor is hoping to double up on points and show the opposite of love to his opponents, except for one. He'll be hoping Albania go on a run to help give him an edge. Those bells you hear ringing? They might just be for thee. Welcome to the Tournament!

Ferrarius

Calor et percute

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Hailing from the Forest City, Ferrarius is currently the lowest ranking competitor of the TSzAL. An original member, competing in the TSzAL World Cup of 2014, Ferrarius fought valiantly to a last place finish. Sitting out the 2015 TSzAL Asian Championship, Ferrarius returns looking to improve his fortunes with some heating and beating action. On his career, he has scored 41 points, with 8 by way of the bonus leaving him in 7^th place for the Zla Dupki standings. For the purposes of our tournament comparatively speaking, Ferrarius is Hungary. The Magic Magyars of the 1950's were among the best teams in the world. This team finished second twice at a World Cup. They've never finished better than third in a European Championship. They haven't qualified for a major tournament since the 1986 World Cup, and haven't been to a European Cup since 1972. They mark their return to the International scene in France by defeating Norway 3-1 in a two legged playoff. Ferrarius marks his return to the TSzAL fold on the heels of a different sort of championship. He's here to play with fire, and that means someone is getting burned! Pray to whatever gods you believe in that it isn't you, and that Hungary doesn't get red hot. Welcome to the Tournament!

Historicus

Non quasi, sunt tibi inferendo.

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Hailing originally from Plymouth Hollow, a second debuting competitor in the 2016 TSzAL European Championship is Historicus. This competitor knows a good deal about things that have already happened, but does that include the world of football? Comparatively speaking for our tournament, Historicus is Wales. The Dragons of Wales are the third oldest Football Association in history behind Scotland and England. They failed to qualify for a major tournament until this past summer where a second place finish in their qualifying group means they get to leave the British Isles and make way for France. If Historicus makes his way from Debutante to Champion on his first try, he'll be sure to let the world know. To help him out, Historicus will be riding on the backs of Dragons as he hopes Wales can make good on this tournament and go for a deep run. It's not your souls he's after, but your entry fees. The man wants your money. Welcome to the Tournament!

Fortuitous

Nihil est quod displicet aliorum fortuna

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Hailing from parts unknown, debuting in the 2016 TSzAL European Championship is "El Gato Negro", Fortuitous. This masked competitor whose identity is unknown arrives ready to shame the competition. Comparatively speaking, for the purposes of our tournament, Fortuitous is our version of Iceland. The island nation's football association was born in 1930, but had failed to qualify for a major tournament until this past summer where they locked up a second place finish in their qualifying group. With their ticket punched for France, the question is  how well do their opponents know them? Iceland are in the midst of a 15 year plan to develop their countries footballers from a youth level to the national side. Fortuitous focuses more on luck. Still, as far as Iceland go, so far can Fortuitous go. Welcome to the Tournament!